Child-Proof?

Have I child-proofed my home?

I was at a mother and baby group recently and I mentioned how good my daughter was at moving albeit backwards. One of the other "moms" asked if I had child-proofed my home. I haven't and we do need to but it got me thinking whether child-proofing is really the best term.

If an item of clothing or footwear is waterproof that means that the garment is protected from the elements (well from water anyway). If you child-proof a home, does that mean the home's protected from children?

As I write this, my daughter has travelled a distance of 8 times her length. Everthing is still standing. Except her, but she can't stand yet.

Childproofing

Is it Ironic?

Irony

It's a common stereotype held among Brits that Americans don't understand irony. Alannis Morrisette's song "Ironic" doesn't really help them much. "Black Fly in your Chardonnay" - Ironic? just plain inconvenient, although it might improve the taste of those really oaky Chardonnays.

Two recent examples show it's not just a stereotype:

Example 1: Someone was admiring my accent (I get this all the time here) and saying "I love your accent, you could read the news."
My response: "I guess I've missed my vocation."
Their response: "It's not too late."

Example 2: I was out for dinner. Someone in the group asked if we minded them smoking - I said that was fine but they'd have to sit downwind. They moved!

Maybe it's the tone of voice and they didn't realise I was joking. Maybe in the first example they were being ironic and really they meant that I'd be an appallling newsreader as I'd bore everyone to sleep.

Check out the following link for further assistance: Maybe I'm the one that needs help from this link

Arf...

Here in cent[er/re] city Philly, people have a liking for small rat-like dogs. Some of them I can hardly believe are descended from wolves. Our Shitzsu, Alfie, would fit right in.

So, will you find these cute ickle mutts trotting along behind their owners? No, these fierce and wolverine beasts are to be found carried about in their owners' handbags - be-ribboned head peeking out of bag, tongue hanging out of mouth.

Maybe I'm being unfair, maybe having them in the handbag is for security purposes. After all, Fagin, in "Oliver Twist" did warn his boys to steer clear of the handbags containing yapping mutts (read it carefully, the warning's there, honest gov). If I was a pick pocket I'd steer clear of any bag that was likely to go "arf" if I tried to "alf-inch" it.

Why? I know it's a city and people live in apartments so space is at a premium but since when has Man's best friend been half wolf, half feather duster?

I say Tomato...

While here in the US I have noticed that the English spoken here is rather different to the Queen's English. And to mine too.

Some of the obvious differences: diaper/ nappy; stroller/ pushchair; nap/ kip.
Some less obvious idioms (or are they idia?) that have caught me out:

Today I was telling someone that Isha enjoys her greens. They said "she'll be shooting up soon". I was shocked, was this lady really saying that a prediliction for green veg means a propensity to indulge in recreational pharmaceuticals in later life? No, after a split second I realised she meant that my daughter would be growing taller.

Maybe that's nothing to do with a difference in language. Maybe that's me being blonde.

Isha thinks that Blueberries rock.
Although it looks like she's been attacking the wine cellar.

Let me bore (I mean entertain) you

Talking of which, Robbie Williams apparently lives near my folks. You should hear my Dad on the subject - although his music tastes are mostly stuck in the 50's - when men were men and beer was warm. Most of the villagers were most unimpressed at hearing that he'd moved in - Robbie, that is, not my Dad. As far as I know, most villagers get on v well with my Dad.

Anyway, this is meant to be an intro to my "blog". I started a website - www.sinharay.com but you will see that I am having uploading issues.

Wilkie Collins said something about people who keep diaries. I can't remember exactly what it was. Whatever it was, the same probably applies to people who keep blogs. I fear it means I have too much time on my hands that could be spent more profitably.

You be the judge.